07.28.2010
I really should post here more.
So, I've been sick with a nasty summer cold and sore and not going to the gym or Crossfitting. I'll get back to it soon, I just hope my hip doesn't decide to hurt any more. I hate that I feel like this is just something I have to deal with because I'm old. I've never wanted my age to define me but I guess it does, in some ways.
The good news is, I am paying off the IRS in a week - finally! And going to be putting that much more towards my credit card debt, which will take my balance down in a hurry. This feels really good.
I bought a car a few weeks ago, too - my poor old BMW was slowly dying, so I had to do it. I'd been saving for a down payment, and planned on getting another used BMW but, on the advice of my parents (yes, Mom, I actually do listen), I went to look at a Toyota. And ended up buying a 2009 Corolla, which is far more car than I'd have gotten if I had gotten a BMW. And I love my little 'Yota - the gas mileage kicks ass and it's quiet, comfy and doesn't feel like parts may come flying off it.
But it seems like you can't have good without bad, and unfortunately for everyone who knows her, my friend Cindy is dying.
Blunt, yes. But that is what's happening. She has been battling cancer for almost three years now, had a leg amputated (it started in her leg) and been through radiation and chemo. It looked for a while like they had gotten it all, and she was set on coming back to work. She was getting around - by herself, even driving! She wanted to get a prosthetic leg and put the cancer behind her.
But then they started to find tumors everywhere. Her lungs, her spine, her abdomen. She fought so hard, and for such a long time kept the most positive of attitudes. But last week, she entered hospice care. She is bedridden and in pain, and does not want us to see her like this. I don't blame her, but I wish I could see my friend one last time. We never said goodbye. Maybe that is for the best.
I do not want her to have to go through this, and I don't want to go through it either. Cindy has always been such an optimistic, sunny, bright and beautiful person. It's so tough to face the fact that she won't be back to work. She was such a big part of this department for such a long time. It's tough to have to face that soon, she won't be with us at all. The toughest part is that she won't see her grandchildren grow up. She loves them so much, and she's such a proud Nano. It breaks my heart that they will miss having her in their lives. It makes me thankful we all had her in our lives for as long as we did.
I just wish it could have been forever.
But now, I wish her love, comfort and mostly, peace.
So, I've been sick with a nasty summer cold and sore and not going to the gym or Crossfitting. I'll get back to it soon, I just hope my hip doesn't decide to hurt any more. I hate that I feel like this is just something I have to deal with because I'm old. I've never wanted my age to define me but I guess it does, in some ways.
The good news is, I am paying off the IRS in a week - finally! And going to be putting that much more towards my credit card debt, which will take my balance down in a hurry. This feels really good.
I bought a car a few weeks ago, too - my poor old BMW was slowly dying, so I had to do it. I'd been saving for a down payment, and planned on getting another used BMW but, on the advice of my parents (yes, Mom, I actually do listen), I went to look at a Toyota. And ended up buying a 2009 Corolla, which is far more car than I'd have gotten if I had gotten a BMW. And I love my little 'Yota - the gas mileage kicks ass and it's quiet, comfy and doesn't feel like parts may come flying off it.
But it seems like you can't have good without bad, and unfortunately for everyone who knows her, my friend Cindy is dying.
Blunt, yes. But that is what's happening. She has been battling cancer for almost three years now, had a leg amputated (it started in her leg) and been through radiation and chemo. It looked for a while like they had gotten it all, and she was set on coming back to work. She was getting around - by herself, even driving! She wanted to get a prosthetic leg and put the cancer behind her.
But then they started to find tumors everywhere. Her lungs, her spine, her abdomen. She fought so hard, and for such a long time kept the most positive of attitudes. But last week, she entered hospice care. She is bedridden and in pain, and does not want us to see her like this. I don't blame her, but I wish I could see my friend one last time. We never said goodbye. Maybe that is for the best.
I do not want her to have to go through this, and I don't want to go through it either. Cindy has always been such an optimistic, sunny, bright and beautiful person. It's so tough to face the fact that she won't be back to work. She was such a big part of this department for such a long time. It's tough to have to face that soon, she won't be with us at all. The toughest part is that she won't see her grandchildren grow up. She loves them so much, and she's such a proud Nano. It breaks my heart that they will miss having her in their lives. It makes me thankful we all had her in our lives for as long as we did.
I just wish it could have been forever.
But now, I wish her love, comfort and mostly, peace.
posted by Carol at Tuesday, July 27, 2010
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